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Where’s the romance, or does it just come down to ‘sext’?


Jem McCarron
WVoN co-editor 

Saucy text messages, or ‘sexts’, are being sent by more women than ever, but is it an effort to alleviate the tedium of the dating game?

Romance publishers, Harlequin, recently surveyed 1,500 single women in  the US aged between 18 and 40 on their romantic behaviours.

What they found is more than a little depressing – 89 percent of those interviewed believed that their most romantic encounters were still to come, with the majority saying they found the whole dating experience boring.

Almost half admitted to ‘sexting’ as part of a serious relationship and 36 percent sexted after just a few dates, could this be an attempt to spice up an otherwise uninspiring dating experience?

Almost a quarter of women surveyed had sent nude photos of themselves via email or text.

Unsurprisingly 91 percent of the respondents say dating rules have changed since their mother’s day, however, the report also found that the key turn ons and expectations are much the same as they have always been.

Women still want men to make the first move, open doors and pay for the first date. A sense of humour and ‘killer smile’ are still what get women going.

Author and psychological expert Dr. Wendy Walsh said in the Huffington Post:

“Harlequin has done it again. Its latest Romance Report documents the changes in dating behaviours and brings forth a hard truth: women’s needs haven’t changed one bit.”

But is that really true?

Women are definitely making more use of social networks and technology in general. For example, using Facebook to check out potential dates.

Clearly, a lot of us are happy to exchange texts and risqué emails too, but the majority would prefer a chat on the telephone to text speak.

Which begs the question then, who are we ‘sexting’ for?

Of course, this is all great news for Harlequinn which can continue to profit out of the unfulfilled romantic hopes of women.

  1. vicki wharton says:

    I have been single now for nearly a year and enrolled on a couple of dating sites. Since then I have received numerous chat requests from guys who very quickly turn the whole chat into a very sexualised encounter. The internet has transformed dating into what feels like a series of encounters, where alot of the guys want sex without relationship which they describe as ‘fun’, and as for the women, I can’t answer as I’m not chatting to them! The new rules seem to be there are no rules …

  2. I wondered a little if this whole change couldn’t be a bit liberating for women. If perhaps it allows women to be more free sexually without the concerns associated with meeting new men etc.

    I also wonder if it could also result in people having sex earlier in the relationship than they might otherwise, as the ground-laying for such a shift could be done in a matter of days via texts and emails, rather than perhaps the weeks it would take if face-to-face contact was the only option available.

    • vicki wharton says:

      I’m not sure it is working that way. I think if you are single and want a series of one night stands, yes, it works … but if you have a child already, or are looking for a partner that might have some vague intention of standing by their own child as it grows up, I’m not so sure. There seems to be a sizemic shift in the way that people are approaching sex/relationships/children which is being brokered through the internet and am not sure it leads to a happy, secure life, particularly for the children being created by such unions.

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