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The power in softness – a book by Charly Flower


Charly Flower
Author, The Power in Softness 

“Softness” has been getting a very bad press for a very long time – we are talking at least a few thousand years.

I should know: I spent eight years working as a female bouncer in some of London’s roughest nightclubs.

More often than not, I was the only female on a team of door supervisors, and almost all of the problems that erupted could so often be dealt with much more effectively, and quickly, using a gentler approach to door supervision.

The worst word you can level at most men, however, is the word “soft”. Even those men who are not fighting out in Afghanistan, or playing at soldiers as bouncers on the doors of Britain’s clubs, are deeply insulted to be called anything resembling “soft” or “gentle”.

The definition of masculinity is everything that a woman is not – to most men.

All this is unhealthy enough, but that so many women are now following suit is dangerous to the human body, and soul. Women, as a group, hold the antidote to healing the world’s problems.

They are, for starters, the balancers of the planet: a few exceptions aside, most women create life and are therefore far more reluctant to destroy it. The “killing industry” that mankind has created is now “a horse that has bolted without a rider”.

There needs to be some force other than men that can jump back in the saddle and steer the horse back to a steady state – to equilibrium.

Womankind is the force that the planet most needs to do this. It is the feminine quality of softness that can restore sanity. Softness is a power, not a weakness. It can move us to stop, for a moment, to obtain clarity.

More than anything, it gives us three hundred and sixty degree vision so that we can accurately assess the consequences of any actions taken. The power in softness is, at root, a practical blueprint to use for life.

Many women, it seems, are taking on masculine values. It’s hard not to – I did. Like many women, I decided that if I couldn’t beat them, I’d join them.

While this serves as a coping mechanism, it is not really helping in the long term: when you trade in your femininity for the prevailing masculine way of things, you temporarily kill off a power that is greater than anything already here.

So, when women harden themselves in order to “make it” in the office or the corporate world, and when they become aggressive and stern in their relationships with others –  as well as with each other –  they cut themselves off from their power base.

The Power in Softness – A Guide to Personal Protection and Empowerment for Women represents my journey from hardness to softness.

Through many true life stories of my time spent working as a female bouncer, I offer the reader insights into the virtues, and necessities, of softness. I show that the power in softness can heal, protect, and open you to a higher force.

The book is a call to women to recognize the most powerful force on the planet: them.

With more and more women aligning to a masculine value system, we are in danger of losing the feminine entirely. If we do, an entire dimension of human experience will be lost.

As Eckhart Tolle writes in A New Earth, “We now have a situation in which the suppression of the feminine has become internalized, even in most women”.

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