The perils of female promiscuity: a cautionary tale

We all know that women only really enjoy sex within the safe, legally bound confines of the marital bed, right?

And now, thanks to the Daily Mail and Cornell University, USA, we have unequivocal proof.

Reporting on a study by Cornell University into happiness and longevity in intimate relationships, the Daily Mail states:

“A study of hundreds of couples found those who waited to have sex were happier in the long-run. Women particularly benefited from not leaping into bed at the first opportunity”.

So there we have it ladies; hard evidence to back up what we’ve always been told. We’re just not cut out for shenanigans of the pre-marital kind.

Only, when we take a closer look at the research, led by Sharon Sassler and published in the Journal of Marriage and Family, the findings are slightly more complex.

“The association between relationship tempo [the speed a relationship develops] and relationship quality was largely driven by cohabitation” the report explains.

So is early cohabitation or early sex the key factor that seemed to determine the quality of the relationship?

Thankfully, Psychology Today offered up a more nuanced reading of the research, noting:

“It’s not so much the sex, however, but the cohabitation itself that leads the couple to slide, unthinkingly, into wedlock (or continued cohabitation).

“When couples are led by sexual desire, financial need, or an unexpected pregnancy to get married, they are less likely to stop and examine whether they share similar life values, goals, compatibility, and emotional intimacy”

The Daily Mail has an enduring fondness for interpreting research to endorse conservative values and this is a pretty standard example. It’s only surprising that the newspaper article didn’t come with readily perforated edges, so readers could tear it out and waggle it in the unsuspecting faces of any pubescent teen or immodestly dressed female that crossed their path.

But the Daily Mail’s treatment of the research was positively measured when compared with the Indian Express, which seems at pains to include orgiastic sentiments of slut-shaming:

“Couples who delay sex until marriage, rather than leaping into bed on the first date, are more likely to have happier and longer relationships, according to a study…. The evidence suggests an open-legs policy is not so rewarding after all.”

Thus the  research is used as a cheap vehicle to shame and deride women who practice this “open legs policy”.

So what started out as research conclusions about the complex development of intimate relationships and the benefits of decent decision-making has been usurped by the press and turned into (yet another) warning about the devastating effects of female promiscuity.

It’s that age old cautionary fairytale created to control female sexuality and repeated ad infinitum by pop culture, parents and social commentators: easy girls wind up unhappy and alone, with only themselves to blame.

Women are reminded that it’s their responsibility, not men’s, to guard against the corrosive effects of early sex, to preserve the sanctity of their relationships, to keep their legs closed.

The province of promiscuity is a place where men have everything to gain and women have everything to lose. This considered, is it any wonder if women are regarding early sex in their relationships as a source of anxiety?